Dear Mariah Carey,
I cannot wait any longer. To remain on schedule with my personal goals, I must contact you now. You’re 25th Anniversary is around the corner and I must have a hand in the festivities!
I believe we are meant to work together (& be friends). Here are some simple, fun indicators:
-The Aries Dog (you) & The Aries Horse (me) are wonderfully compatible.
-We’re both from New York: Bronx/Westchester (me), Long Island (you).
-An even 20 years my senior, you made your professional debut the year I was born.
-I’m a fraternal twin & you gave birth to fraternal twins.
-Surprise! I went to the same high school as your ex-husband. (Not to worry…)
I don’t just see myself as just a fan. Rather, I am an investor, in all that is Mariah. Consider me the Ursula to your Ariel, but instead of trying to steal your voice (I wish I could), my role is to help maintain creative cultivation of your talents as we celebrate 25 years (& counting). I promise, Underneath the Stars, to give you My All as we embark on a dynamite collaboration befitting of your upcoming 25th anniversary.
7 Main Creative Goals for Our Collaboration:
*At least 22 # 1 Hits (#Beautiful will be your 19th)
*Songbird Supreme your album, fabulously peppered with jazzy influences. The Wind anyone?
*A hit, rock-tinged single a la You Need Me & Prisoner.
*A truly uptempo single a la Fantasy & Heartbreaker. Give me a #1 hit to dance to!
*A fierce collaboration with Bjork. Yes, you read correct.
*25th Anniversary Concert at Carnegie Hall. It’s about time.
*For The Nostalgia, a behind the scenes documentary, celebrating 25 years & looking toward the future of music
Plus, a world tour, utilizing your house club remixes like never before. Let’s truly give them a show as powerful as your voice! Complete with fresh, dynamic choreography.
If you agree to meet with me, not only would I be Overjoyed and supremely honored, I promise you will not be disappointed. I believe this is a great opportunity to realize a long held dream of mine in aiding your creative growth as an artist. A meeting this summer would be ideal, to prepare for 2014, which will be spent preparing creatively, physically, and of course, vocally for your 25th anniversary! Please let me know if you’re interested. Because of you, I found strength in being on the Outside. Thanks Mariah!
P.S- I have always supported you, so I returned to watching American Idol, and this was the first season I voted. Amber and Candice are amazing. Plus, when I was younger, I used to co-sign your initials on my assignments, so that my teachers knew I liked you.